Hi, my name is Katy and I'm antisocial.
Yep, that's me. A great, big, antisocial, hide-in-my-apartment-and-ignore-the-poor-maintenance-guy kinda gal! Mind you, I called maintenance. I asked if they could please come as soon as possible. Amazingly, they showed up within the week and what did I do? I hid. I pretended I wasn't home when obviously I was. You see, I just really didn't feel like answering the door in my pajamas to the guy who came to fix my garbage disposal. That's understandable right?
So, this poor guy knocks on my door several times, announces that it's maintenance, tries the key to get in (I'm assuming) and I just lay in bed, not breathing and hoping that he would go away. Ingenious! Occasionally, they'll come by and if you don't answer the door, they go get the key, so I got out of bed long enough to undo the deadbolt just in case. But he never returned. He did, however leave a note that was dated yesterday (poor guy must be really overworked) and reads:
"Came by to complete work order but night lock was on."
Above that it says
"Sorry I missed you today" but that has been thoroughly scratched out. I guess he decided he wasn't sorry. I can't say I blame him.
So, anyway...my knee and wrist have been hurting and I didn't want to get out of bed. I thought about getting my lazy ass up to let him in if/when he came back but then I had a brilliant idea! I know, I can undo the deadbolt and if he comes by again, I'll just hide in my room. He doesn't even need to know I'm here!
Yes, this is how heinously antisocial I was feeling. Of course then it occurred to me If either of my phones were to ring, he might hear it. OH NO! He might hear me talking on it! Then he'd know I was here and I might have some 'splainin' to do! EEEKKK!!! Time for yet another brilliant idea. I'll turn the ringers off on my phones!
So, thoroughly pleased with my ingenuity, I disconnected from the world at large and went back to sleep. The only problem with that became apparent when I awoke at about 5:30 (yes, I slept in today - what? I was tired!) to my dad knocking on my door and yelling my name. I bet my neighbors enjoyed that...anyway, by now I had unlocked the deadbolt so dad used his key to get in, at which point I, in a sleepy daze called his cell phone. Cause he wasn't directly outside or anything. I don't use a whole Hell of a lot of logic immediately upon waking, okay?!
As it turned out, he and my mom had been trying to call me and couldn't get through - what with the ringers on both of my phones silenced and all. No doubt they were having fantasies about my demise. Just think...it'd save them all that nasty inadvertent murder business! Anywho, it all turned out well and there shouldn't be any indescribable odors coming from my apartment any time soon. I hope.
I'm thinking I may just call the apartment's office tomorrow, apologize and claim that I was in the shower and didn't think to unlock the deadbolt. What do y'all think? Should I just say I'm a REALLY heavy sleeper and wasn't feeling well? I think the shower thing might go over better with Mr. Maintenance Man.
OH! In other exciting news, I got my digital camera today! Of course I didn't check my mail until after 5:30, so I couldn't get the package from the office, but I'm looking forward to fiddling with it tomorrow. Also, Sanjaya FINALLY got the boot on American Idol. There is a merciful God!!! Hooray!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Why are People So Stupid/Am I a BAD Person?!
Okay, can you tell I'm bored out of my mind? (As if I had one to begin with! HA!) But yeah, none of my (2) best friends are online. I'm afraid one of them has a son who's sick and the other is at this weird thing referred to in certain cultures as "School".
So, I figured I'd be a loser and write 2 blogs in one evening! Hooray! So, I've been stalking this digital camera on eBay cause - well - I want it! My personal method of getting things I want from eBay (especially really popular things like digital cameras) is to wait until there's like 1 minute left on the sale and bid $1 higher than the last person. Maybe this makes me a bad person...I don't know. I just think it makes me a Hell of a lot smarter than most of the other bidders, but of course I would think that about myself. It just seems to me like it's dumb to drive up the price with a bidding war when you can just wait till the last minute (literally!) and get what you want. Once again...this could mean I'm a jackass, I don't know. Right at this very moment there are 17 minutes left on one of the cameras I have been stalking. This one guy has bid several times on the damned thing and successfully driven the price up much higher than I would like, but oh well. If I were a REALLY nice person, I'd just let it go and let him have it, but I don't have much sympathy for someone who has OUTBID HIMSELF 4 times! Did he fear that he might get it rather than himself? Again...I don't know. People are stupid and I can't figure out why! I drives me crazy!!! Like people who can't spell, but we won't go into that. It's too extensive and makes my head all hurty.
Oh! I know what I can blab about for 11 minutes! (the time remaining before I plan to swipe the camera I want - teeheehee) The inadvertent murder attempts made by my parents! Actually, they've been made by my dad mostly, but I consider my parents to be one entity, so yeah. Okay, so my dad has been sick for 3 weeks now (poor my daddy!) and being that he is really sweet and is always taking care of me, he has still be delivering food to me on a damn near daily basis. Sounds like he's actually contributing to my being alive, right? Partially, yes - but also no! With my compromised immune system it's pretty much impossible for me to get over even a little cold in under 2 months. So while my dad has been bringing me sustenance, he's also been coughing, sneezing, hacking (which is like coughing but more for those of you who are never sick), wheezing and just generally breathing "sickness" all over it. I also asked my mom to please just come herself, but she keeps sending daddy, so I think she's in on the evil, inadvertent murder scheme! See what I mean??
Anyway, dingleberry over on eBay just outbid himself again like a retard. *sigh* Too bad that people can't be disqualified from bidding for being a dipshit. It wouldn't be so bad except that other people keep coming and bidding higher than what his outbid himself on...if that makes any sense. I'm sure it doesn't, but oh well. Now I'm contemplating how badly I really want a digital camera...
So, I figured I'd be a loser and write 2 blogs in one evening! Hooray! So, I've been stalking this digital camera on eBay cause - well - I want it! My personal method of getting things I want from eBay (especially really popular things like digital cameras) is to wait until there's like 1 minute left on the sale and bid $1 higher than the last person. Maybe this makes me a bad person...I don't know. I just think it makes me a Hell of a lot smarter than most of the other bidders, but of course I would think that about myself. It just seems to me like it's dumb to drive up the price with a bidding war when you can just wait till the last minute (literally!) and get what you want. Once again...this could mean I'm a jackass, I don't know. Right at this very moment there are 17 minutes left on one of the cameras I have been stalking. This one guy has bid several times on the damned thing and successfully driven the price up much higher than I would like, but oh well. If I were a REALLY nice person, I'd just let it go and let him have it, but I don't have much sympathy for someone who has OUTBID HIMSELF 4 times! Did he fear that he might get it rather than himself? Again...I don't know. People are stupid and I can't figure out why! I drives me crazy!!! Like people who can't spell, but we won't go into that. It's too extensive and makes my head all hurty.
Oh! I know what I can blab about for 11 minutes! (the time remaining before I plan to swipe the camera I want - teeheehee) The inadvertent murder attempts made by my parents! Actually, they've been made by my dad mostly, but I consider my parents to be one entity, so yeah. Okay, so my dad has been sick for 3 weeks now (poor my daddy!) and being that he is really sweet and is always taking care of me, he has still be delivering food to me on a damn near daily basis. Sounds like he's actually contributing to my being alive, right? Partially, yes - but also no! With my compromised immune system it's pretty much impossible for me to get over even a little cold in under 2 months. So while my dad has been bringing me sustenance, he's also been coughing, sneezing, hacking (which is like coughing but more for those of you who are never sick), wheezing and just generally breathing "sickness" all over it. I also asked my mom to please just come herself, but she keeps sending daddy, so I think she's in on the evil, inadvertent murder scheme! See what I mean??
Anyway, dingleberry over on eBay just outbid himself again like a retard. *sigh* Too bad that people can't be disqualified from bidding for being a dipshit. It wouldn't be so bad except that other people keep coming and bidding higher than what his outbid himself on...if that makes any sense. I'm sure it doesn't, but oh well. Now I'm contemplating how badly I really want a digital camera...
*~*UPDATE*~*
Idiot boy didn't win the camera...some other jackass (besides me I mean) came and took it out from under him. Darn! I wish I had been that jackass...*~*NEW UPDATE*~*
ZOMG! I'm so excited! I just won this really awesome frickin' digital camera!!! IT ended up being (altogether) $113.90 Not bad for a 12 megapixel digital camera. Anywho, I'm all excited and happy! HOORAY!!! Oh and mine's way cool cause it's red...teeheehee I still can't believe I bid on that and that I WON!!! I'm disturbingly exhilarated...*SQUEEEEE* *insanely huge smile on my face right now*
Survival of the Laziest
What in God's name would I do without my parents? Okay, so maybe they inadvertantly try to murder me occasionally...but they really do mean well! If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about regarding the "murder" thing, you're obviously not Cassi or Andrea and I'll fill you in later.
So back to "what would I do without my parents?" I think I'd probably end up
A. Starving to death out of sheer laziness/stupidity
B. Ordering pizza every night and going totally broke or
C. Actually, magically growing up and taking care of myself (YEAH RIGHT! LMAO)
Basically my parents still take care of me. Case in point: today. I managed to get breakfast for myself (only because my dad went out and bought me milk yesterday) but then what did I do? I took a nap and only bothered to wake up because Dad called and said he was bringing food over. Being the annoying, spoiled brat that I am I didn't want what they were going to have so my sweet daddy went to a second place to get lunch for me. As of right now I am still sitting in my jammies too lazy to get my fat arse ready and go out into the "real world" (SCARY!!!) but I need my weekly medications (which I normally prepare, but my mommy and daddy did this week) So, being the annoying, spoiled brat that I am, I called my mom and asked her to bring them to me! LOL
In my defense, I did hang a mirror today (those HERCULES HOOK thingamajigs work pretty freakin' well!) I also -*thought*- about hanging a picture and that in itself was taxing. Plus, I would've had to move/clean up some stuff to get to where I wanted to hang it and that's just asking FAR too much of me! The only other thing i've done today is collect pee in a jug. I think it's gone beyond lazy and into perverted when you ask your parents to collect pee for you...pretty much everything else not fun is okay though. LOL
Yes, I am not only annoying, and spoiled, but lazy as well! Hooray for me! I think this condition probably requires some sort of counselling, but I'm too much of a bum to look into it. I should call mom and see if she knows...
So back to "what would I do without my parents?" I think I'd probably end up
A. Starving to death out of sheer laziness/stupidity
B. Ordering pizza every night and going totally broke or
C. Actually, magically growing up and taking care of myself (YEAH RIGHT! LMAO)
Basically my parents still take care of me. Case in point: today. I managed to get breakfast for myself (only because my dad went out and bought me milk yesterday) but then what did I do? I took a nap and only bothered to wake up because Dad called and said he was bringing food over. Being the annoying, spoiled brat that I am I didn't want what they were going to have so my sweet daddy went to a second place to get lunch for me. As of right now I am still sitting in my jammies too lazy to get my fat arse ready and go out into the "real world" (SCARY!!!) but I need my weekly medications (which I normally prepare, but my mommy and daddy did this week) So, being the annoying, spoiled brat that I am, I called my mom and asked her to bring them to me! LOL
In my defense, I did hang a mirror today (those HERCULES HOOK thingamajigs work pretty freakin' well!) I also -*thought*- about hanging a picture and that in itself was taxing. Plus, I would've had to move/clean up some stuff to get to where I wanted to hang it and that's just asking FAR too much of me! The only other thing i've done today is collect pee in a jug. I think it's gone beyond lazy and into perverted when you ask your parents to collect pee for you...pretty much everything else not fun is okay though. LOL
Yes, I am not only annoying, and spoiled, but lazy as well! Hooray for me! I think this condition probably requires some sort of counselling, but I'm too much of a bum to look into it. I should call mom and see if she knows...
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Idiocy and Irony - An Epic
Forget Sense and Sensibility (even though it's a cute movie). Forget Pride and Prejudice too (never seen that one). It's time now for IDIOCY AND IRONY!!! The third and final chapter in the Alliteration Series. For those of you who are O.C.D .(like me) I do realize that these came out in reverse alphabetical order, but bear with me. It WILL be okay.
In honor of the reverse order of things (and in spite of my inclination to do exactly the opposite) I will explain the reasoning for the title of Idiocy and Irony backwards as well. No, I'm not going to type backwards. I'm far too stupid and already have a headache so, therefore cannot do that, but I WILL tell you all about the "irony" part of the post first.
I recently, because I'm down and jiggy with all the new gadgetry and whatnot, purchased a set of those HERCULES HOOK thingies. I bought them specifically so I wouldn't have to search for a stud (the kind in the wall, not the hot guy kind. I'm still more than happy to search for hot guys! But I digress, as usual...) So, I marked where I wanted the dealy I'm hanging to be (which in this particular case is a metal CD rack) and made marks indicating where I needed to put the HERCULES HOOK thingies. If this language is too technical for you to understand...well, you probably need some sort of medical attention because the infamous -"they"- don't make 'em much less technical than me. Anyway, back to the irony...so I make these marks and shove a HERCULES HOOK thingy in the wall. I am pleased with my amazing mechanical skills! I can shove a big hook in the wall! Yay me! Hooray! Etc! Etc! and so forth! and so on! Time now to shove HERCULES HOOK thingy number 2 into the wall.Piece of cake, right? Of course not! Why not, you ask? Well, I'm trying to tell you! Stop interrupting me! It's because I managed to find a stud! A stud into which a HERCULES HOOK thingy will not penetrate. Great job, Katy...just brilliant! It's really quite ironical if you ask me. And yes, you did ask me (in my head). Also, "ironical" is now a word - for I hath used it and thus it is so! Yeah...so, I only have 18 of these babies left...who wants to guess at how many I will manage to try to shove into a stud? (Once again, NOT the hot guy variety - or the horsey variety, for that matter.) I'm betting on at least 6...
So, onward and upward (technically it's downward, but that doesn't sound as nifty) to the idiocy! I realized that towards the end of 2006/beginning of 2007 I mentioned my mom having a lot of health problems and the possible need for a pacemaker. As it turned out (and as usual) health profesionals are almost entirely composed of retards who want nothing more than to perform a "really cool" surgery. At least that's my personal interpretation of them. She did not need a pacemaker at all. They switched around some medications and she is still having what I refer to in my rather politically correct way as "intestinal difficulties" because it sounds so much nicer than - well, you know.......
Anyway, she's really fatigued a lot and afraid to go out much because of the "intestinal difficulties". She is supposed to go see her doctor sometime soon but wants to cancel because she knows that he'll say she's stupid and has Celiac and that she should have listened to him, blah, blah, blah. I swear to GOD I have half a mind. That's it...I just have half a mind. haha...Seriously though, I'm REALLY considering e-mailing/calling the boss man (who is a doctor's boss anyway?) and complaining. I think he works for Scott & White so he's basically ruled by public relations. Any evil ideas on how to make his life Hell?
There are so many idiotic things I've done recently, I can't even begin to remember them all. I was so tired of knotted yarn last night that I decided a couple of wee, li'l knots in the yarn I was using weren't noticeable and just knitted them right on in! I'm a rebel like that...I also discovered that, though it's significantly more whoppy jawed (again, I apologize for the uber technical language, but it really is necessary) I prefer cutting and then joining where my color changes are; rather than running the yarn up the backside of my work because the 'cutless' method has a tendency to leave small, but annoying (to me anyway) holes. Y'all were DYING to know that right? Right! Alrighty then...
UPDATE:
I figured out that if I were to move my CD rack over and inch or two, i could avoid the stud and still hang it using my HERCULES HOOK thingies! Hooray for my brain! It worked for once! Now I just have to Spackle the holes I made previously while engaging in idiotic behavior...one more thing to add to my grocery list. Even though I've put off going to the store for at least a month. I'll do it someday, I swear!
P.S. Because it wasn't included in the post NEARLY enough...........................
HERCULES HOOK thingies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In honor of the reverse order of things (and in spite of my inclination to do exactly the opposite) I will explain the reasoning for the title of Idiocy and Irony backwards as well. No, I'm not going to type backwards. I'm far too stupid and already have a headache so, therefore cannot do that, but I WILL tell you all about the "irony" part of the post first.
I recently, because I'm down and jiggy with all the new gadgetry and whatnot, purchased a set of those HERCULES HOOK thingies. I bought them specifically so I wouldn't have to search for a stud (the kind in the wall, not the hot guy kind. I'm still more than happy to search for hot guys! But I digress, as usual...) So, I marked where I wanted the dealy I'm hanging to be (which in this particular case is a metal CD rack) and made marks indicating where I needed to put the HERCULES HOOK thingies. If this language is too technical for you to understand...well, you probably need some sort of medical attention because the infamous -"they"- don't make 'em much less technical than me. Anyway, back to the irony...so I make these marks and shove a HERCULES HOOK thingy in the wall. I am pleased with my amazing mechanical skills! I can shove a big hook in the wall! Yay me! Hooray! Etc! Etc! and so forth! and so on! Time now to shove HERCULES HOOK thingy number 2 into the wall.Piece of cake, right? Of course not! Why not, you ask? Well, I'm trying to tell you! Stop interrupting me! It's because I managed to find a stud! A stud into which a HERCULES HOOK thingy will not penetrate. Great job, Katy...just brilliant! It's really quite ironical if you ask me. And yes, you did ask me (in my head). Also, "ironical" is now a word - for I hath used it and thus it is so! Yeah...so, I only have 18 of these babies left...who wants to guess at how many I will manage to try to shove into a stud? (Once again, NOT the hot guy variety - or the horsey variety, for that matter.) I'm betting on at least 6...
So, onward and upward (technically it's downward, but that doesn't sound as nifty) to the idiocy! I realized that towards the end of 2006/beginning of 2007 I mentioned my mom having a lot of health problems and the possible need for a pacemaker. As it turned out (and as usual) health profesionals are almost entirely composed of retards who want nothing more than to perform a "really cool" surgery. At least that's my personal interpretation of them. She did not need a pacemaker at all. They switched around some medications and she is still having what I refer to in my rather politically correct way as "intestinal difficulties" because it sounds so much nicer than - well, you know.......
Anyway, she's really fatigued a lot and afraid to go out much because of the "intestinal difficulties". She is supposed to go see her doctor sometime soon but wants to cancel because she knows that he'll say she's stupid and has Celiac and that she should have listened to him, blah, blah, blah. I swear to GOD I have half a mind. That's it...I just have half a mind. haha...Seriously though, I'm REALLY considering e-mailing/calling the boss man (who is a doctor's boss anyway?) and complaining. I think he works for Scott & White so he's basically ruled by public relations. Any evil ideas on how to make his life Hell?
There are so many idiotic things I've done recently, I can't even begin to remember them all. I was so tired of knotted yarn last night that I decided a couple of wee, li'l knots in the yarn I was using weren't noticeable and just knitted them right on in! I'm a rebel like that...I also discovered that, though it's significantly more whoppy jawed (again, I apologize for the uber technical language, but it really is necessary) I prefer cutting and then joining where my color changes are; rather than running the yarn up the backside of my work because the 'cutless' method has a tendency to leave small, but annoying (to me anyway) holes. Y'all were DYING to know that right? Right! Alrighty then...
UPDATE:
I figured out that if I were to move my CD rack over and inch or two, i could avoid the stud and still hang it using my HERCULES HOOK thingies! Hooray for my brain! It worked for once! Now I just have to Spackle the holes I made previously while engaging in idiotic behavior...one more thing to add to my grocery list. Even though I've put off going to the store for at least a month. I'll do it someday, I swear!
P.S. Because it wasn't included in the post NEARLY enough...........................
HERCULES HOOK thingies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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