Yeah it's one of those days...you know THOSE days. The ones where you feel the urge to scream "GOD, why do you HATE me so?!" at the top of your lungs. And usually you're overreacting, but ohhh at the time - it feels EXACTLY like God just hates you for no good reason.
Yes, my dear friends, today is just one of those days. Today, I awakened from a dream just as a large cat of some sort was about to take a big bite out of my arm. I have no idea what that means dream-wise. All I know is that in the dream I was having a wonderful time, loving on all sorts of various, cute little animals. I think that I could communicate with them in a sense, but I'm not sure anymore. The only really vivid part I remember is an adorable kitty holding out it's paw to me, as if to say "Hi, let's be friends!" and me tenatively reaching out to touch the kitty when
WHAM! The cat grabs my wrist and bares it's teeth. I tried to pull my arm away, but the cat was too strong. It was at this point that I opened one eye. I seemed to be aware that if i would just open my eyes the cat would have to let go and not devour me. I'd also like to point out that all the "various, cute little animals" I previously encountered in this dream suddenly became either ravenous, drooling predators or little bitches who were only concerned with saving themselves. Basically a dream full of politicians.
Anyway, so I opened one eye and eventually the other and realized
whew! I was dreaming... or nightmar...ing? Whatever, it was over and the REAL reason I couldn't move my arm was because it was pinned beneath my big, fat torso. Definately preferable to a hungry, predatory, large cat. So, I rolled over long enough for my arm to come back to life (don't you just love that tingling feeling when one of your appendages falls asleep? GAH!) at which point, I promptly fell back asleep and proceeded to have a big, long dream about Pam, Brynna and parking meters. I don't remember the details of this one nearly as well, but it also wasn't as frightening (amazingly enough)
So, now is the point at which I actually got my fat ass out of bed. This part of my day was actually pretty darn good for the most part. At least I wasn't sitting around thinking that God must hate me. Pretty much the first thing that happened was my dad called to see if I wanted any food from McAlister's. He mentioned that they had been watching movies today and I know that he doesn't really like to stay cooped up in the house watching movies on TV (he hates the commercials with a passion) so I asked if he wanted to meet there. He said sure but mom didn't want to go cause she ran out of that new med she was taking and wasn't feeling well. So, dad and I finally decided that we'd meet and eat at the restaraunt and then he would take her something home. Brilliant plan!!! Yay!!! 30 minutes later Daddy and I are at the restaraunt waiting for our food and chit chatting with one of the servers there when she tells us that she lost the baby she had been pregnant with. Before I went to Ohio, I knew that she had gone on maternity leave to have the baby, but I didn't know that he hadn't made it. She joked and said it was okay cause it was just another boy (she already has 3 boys and wanted a girl) but she was obviously devastated. I'm not sure if he was born and then didn't make it or if she miscarried but either way it's horrifying. We talked about how she had tried a couple of different anti depressants before she found one that helped her. Poor thing! I realize that her losing a baby isn't nearly as traumatizing to me as it is to her, but it's still a serious bummer to say the least. *UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY ALERT*
So, after lunch/dinner/whatever the hell it was, I went to Bed Bath & Beyond because
1. It's right there
2. I needed to get mom a mother's day card (yes I'm a bad, procrastinating daughter) and
3. I didn't want to even THINK about trying to go to Wal*Mart at 6 pm. Especially on a Sunday.
So, off to BB&B I go! I waddled around for a bit just enjoying the smell. For some reason, I just LOVE the way Bed Bath & Beyond always smells. I found a couple of things I just couldn't possibly live without and a funny card that I'm passing off as a mother's day card for mommy. Then I felt the need to check out those over the door pantry shelves they sell. You know what I mean right? Anyway, they were on an endcap, but I walked directly past them and was searching in the kitchen gadgetry area when I heard a happy couple debating whether or not they needed flatware drawer organizers or some such thing (I know I heard "flatware") and thinking that they were vomitously cute. I smiled to myself and inwardly wished them well, and then continued on my over-the-door-pantry-shelf-thingy-search. Not long after, I located them (the shelves, not the couple) pretty much right where I had originally been standing (D'OH!) and decided that they were too expensive for the moment. So, I headed for the checkout and lo and behold! The happy couple (actually, one of 3 happy couples that I noticed while in the store. This happened to be the "flatware" couple) were directly in front of me. The happy "flatware" couple consisted of a short, at least partially Asian young lady and a tall white dude. Naturally, because I am lonely and miserable, the happy flatware dude leaned down (at least 2 feet) to kiss his happy flatware lady.
*sigh* I thought to myself.
Well, I'm certainly glad they're happy. (What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I in such a non-hateful mood? Have I been probed by happy aliens? Happy flatware aliens?! EEEKKK!!!)
Naturally NOW another cashier FINALLY shows up and offers to "take care" of me at the next register. So, I check out, shell out and leave. I get into my car and go on home...Hooray! Home! Being the dweebazoid I am, I immediately sign onto yahoo hoping to talk to Andrea or anyone really.
Poopy! Andrea is not online! Ahh well, I shall check my e-mail, RobinHoodFund, MySpace, etc. La de da! I eventually log onto MySpace. For some deranged reason I feel the need to look at someone's page. Someone who is a dumbass and lives in Terrell. Someone who got his hair cut and actually looks kind of hot *smacks self* - I mean "looks kind of okay". So, I start to feel stupid and ugly and dumb and redundant. Oh, and fat. Luckily enough, I'm chatting with Heather at this point and she reminds me that he's a stupid playa-wanna-be and I should continue to forget him. Okey dokey, I can do that...
Okay, now I'm feeling hungry again. What? I haven't eaten in 4 hours! So I go to find something or other in the kitchen. Mmmm brownies...I promise I'll only have 2! Okay, maybe 3...but that's it! Besides, they're not that big and I'm hungry! Stop judging me!!! So, I go get some brownies. Yay!!! Of course before I can enjoy said brownies I need to use the tinkletorium. Conveniently, when I hit the switch in the bathroom the light pops.
Eh, crap...I'll replace it later I think. I also think that now would be a WONDERFUL time to take off my bra. Now, I have to explain something to you...the bra that I'm wearing on this particular day is a "convertible" bra so, you know, the straps come undone at the back to make it a criss cross back or just regular. Well, as I'm trying to take the fucker off, the little hook that comes undone for "converting" purposes catches in the skin at the back of my arm. Here is the thought process which followed:
OUCHIE MUCH?! YES OUCHIE VERY VERY MUCH! Eeeek! Get it out, get it out!!!! *pulling*
ACK! Okay, pulling bad...unhooking? OUCH! Maybe not. I'm gonna have to call mom to come get this stupid bra hook out of my arm. WTF? I need a mirror *starting to get weepy and walking to the bathroom mirror*
FUCK I CAN'T SEE THE FUCKING MIRROR!!! CRAP I need to replace the light bulb! *walking to the hall closet*
75 watts? Is that right? Well, that's all I have. I hope that's right...*back to the bathroom*
How does this fucking fixture work?! *figures out fixture - replaces bulb*
LET THERE BE LIGHT! Ow. *turns on light switch*
Okay now what the hell is going on in my arm? *finally removes hook*
FUCK! THAT HURT!!!! Shit, I guess I oughtta put disinfectant on the damn thing...crap. *gets out disinfect-y type stuff*
Boy this is really a pain in the ass to get at...OW! DISINFECTANT IS MEAN!! *crying - nay - sobbing openly now*
I wonder if I should put a Band-Aid on this thing? Yeah, probably. Damn. DAMN FUCK DAMN FUCK DAMN!!!!!!!!! *Band-Aid putting on-age (which just so happens to be a HUGE pain in the ass and also rather painful because of where this little hole that has been created is)*
God, why do you hate me? *sniffle sob* Is it because of the "Let there be light" bit? I won't do it anymore, I swear! So yeah..now my arm has a little hole in it. In the wing flap area right up by my armpit. So I can't put on deodorant very easily, I can't shave very easily and it hurts quite a lot. *joy* I have this horrible fear that the newly acquired hole in my arm will become infected or something equally yucky and it's freaking me te fuck out. I'm also all sad and sniffly because God hates me. *pout*
Okay, I guess He doesn't actually hate me, but it sure felt like it! Maybe I should start waking up early enough so that I can take my meds in the morning again...
*~*UPDATE*~*
Oh, thank GOD Andrea's online *sniffle* She'll make me feel better - yay!
I also got my new book! Whee!!! I scanned that too. Because I have nothing better to do and I'm refusing to lie back down until at LEAST 9 o'clock. Which also explains the Mt Dew I have mainlining to my mouth... It was written by a friend and I really like his writing AND it's autographed. You know, because everyone loves me. Especially when I pay $24.95 for their book...hehehehehe...
I tried to scan the back of the book too, but the words were illegible so I just decided to forget it. I already started reading it, but then set it down to chat online (with the author LOL) Anyway, the moral of the story (mine, not the book's) is that it's really good thus far. If you're interested, it can be purchased here. Also, Phil's Place is a really good short story in my humble opinion. I even wrote a review for him on Amazon. I think y'all might like it - the story, that is (especially you, Andrea). I'm eagerly awaiting the sequels Joe has promised...*this it me, eagerly waiting*
