I Want My Mommy...

Hey peoples...I'm in kind of a poopy mood right at the moment because my mommy's in the hospital yet again and she's being told again that she will most likely need a pace maker. I realize that a pace maker is not a death sentence - that it's actually a life-saving device, but I still don't like it. (THAT's the understatement of the millenium...) Mom just called me (on her cell phone...how very ironic) to ask me to look up what kind of pace maker is used to treat cardioneurogenic syncope (a.k.a. vasovagal syncope) I have no idea what I'm looking at and it's making me feel like crap. I really hate this whole other people being sick thing. It's so much easier when I was the one who was sick and I didn't have to worry and fret and feel stupid and insufficient because I had no idea what to do. This sucks ass. She asked me to print off pertinent information, but I don't know what qualifies as "pertinent". I will probably end up printing every article ever written on vasosvagal/cardioneurogenic syncope and come up with nothing useful. *sigh* Bleh, I feel incredibly useless right now and the worse I feel, the tireder I get. Logically, I know I need to stop - take a break from looking at all this crap. But as a concerned daughter, I don't want to stop looking at everything on the internet until I find something that says "Oh, nevermind! Your mom is fine. We're just going to *insert medical jargon type procedure-y thing here* and she'll be good to go!" And yet I sit here, pissing and moaning about it in my blog. Productive, right? I guess I'll just have to do the best I can and hope and pray that I can help my mommy. I've noticed some support group thingies that might be useful. Somehow, talking to people who have experienced a certain problem is always much more enlightening than discussing it with those who merely treat and analyze said condition. Perhaps I shall peruse the support group area for information that may be helpful...

Okay, I took a much needed break to look at slightly less disturbing subject matter. Specifically y'all's blogs and stuff! I also took a trip to a couple of crafty-type knitting, etc sites. Since of the three of us who actually read this blog, I'm the least likely to have finded this thingy, I felt the desperate need to point it out. I think this would be fun to cross-stitch, though I don't know wtf I'd put it on...I also like this because quite frankly, I HAVE often thought that my toiletries would look MUCH more attractive were they ensconced within a scary robot. Doesn't every girl feel that way? I really like a lot of the stuff on the Anticraft website...thanks Andrea!!! In fact, while looking at this little project (which I fully intend to attempt in the future - just to forewarn you) I discovered Miss Monster, of whom I am now quite fond! I'm pretty sure that this is the best picture ever. Though I also think that this one is really pretty. Is it weird that I think that's "pretty"? Eh, probably, but oh fucking well - I do! So, HA! In addition to looking at pretties online, I also took some time to finish my first Merry Gentry book. It was quite fun and seemed an impossibly quick read. Those were some of the fastest 435 pages I ever devoured.

I'm still not sure what the Hell I'm looking for as far as my mommy's condition goes, but at least I got a little break. I guess looking for I-don't-know-what for 4 hours straight would make anyone feel a little inadequate. Or maybe it's just me. I don't know, but I do feel a bit better now. Yarn and venting have that effect on me...

Sweet Sweater Lovin'

So what's going on with y'all's KnitBlue KAL? I was just looking a some of the posts and I am in heart with that Stitch Diva sweater pattern. Don't you guys LOVE it?! I'm not sure if you can tell, but I'm bored right now. Maybe I'll go read my book or take a nap. Or a bath...or take a nap in the bath...preferably without drowning. haha...I'll let you know how things turn out!

Merry the-day-after Christmas!

I had so much fun shopping and finding the "perfect" gift for each of my friends. Of whom there are a grand total of 5 (including my sister and mom) Don't get this confused with organization. Dear me, no! "Organized" is not a word well known by this slob! Granted, I did make a list (and I even checked it more than once) but in no way was I prepared in a timely manner. Hence the reason all your Christmas gifts are late in coming. I do indeed have them. Heck, I even wrapped them before Christmas Eve (I know, freaky)...but no way in Hell was I foresighted enough to actually mail them in time for the holiday! That would just be too weird. In fact, true to my usual holiday timing my sister, mother and I exchanged gifts on the 23rd and Beth and I didn't exchange presents until today (the 26th) The only thing I did true to Christmas tradition was eat. First Christmas Eve "dinner" at the Grand Buffet (Chinese) in Logan and then turkey, etc on Christmas Day. I especially loved the sign in the window at the Grand Buffet that read "We open for Holozay. Coming in!"

The only other thing I did was go to midnight mass with my Grandma and Sara. I've reached the conclusion yet again that so called "organized religion" is not for me. Don't get me wrong...I know that many people like the monotony and security of it, but I felt very inadequate. I couldn't remember all the correct responses and I accidently said "Thank you" instead of "Thanks be to God" a couple of times. Plus, I don't like the Catholic viewpoint that insists we must love God out of fear. Fire and brimstone aren't my thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with thanking a higher power for watching out for us, but the whole "Thank you, Lord!I love you, so don't torture me for eternity, okay?" thing kinda creeps me out. I don't like being scared. I personally prefer and believe in a more benevolent God than a malevolent one. Okay, enough religion...just had to point that out.

Anyway, back to the presents...I apologize for the long time in coming. I actually haven't been able to pick yours up yet, Andrea but rest assured that it WAS purchased prior to Christmas. I'm not sure why that's so important, but I think it is so...yeah. I actually have yours packed and ready to mail, Cassi but being the 'tard that I am, I forgot to put one thing in so I'll probably end up unpacking and re-packing it. Plus, I addressed it to your NC address so even if I HAD sent it on time, you wouldn't have it yet. If you'd like to give me the address you're at in TX I can mail it there, but with my luck you'll be back home by then. Honestly, it's not entirely unlikely that both of y'all's Christmas gifts will arrive closer to St. Valentine's Day.

As it turned out, I wasn't able to finish that scarf for Sara. I only have about 4 inches done of it. LOL Yes, I knit VERY slowly! I got this cool new thing the other day (when I picked up some Christmas pressies...hehehe) that is meant to help when you're knitting two yarns together, but the woman working in the shop said many people also find it helpful when trying to control tension. I've yet to use it, but it sure is neato looking! I plan to go back to said knitting shop and get some more yarn and stuff (cause it's required) so I'll pick up a couple for y'all if you'd like. Anyway, so I ended up getting Sara 3 CDs that she seems happy with and I'm thinking about casting off on the scarf and redoing it later...like for next year. Maybe I can use the spaztic swatch I produced this time as part of a patchwork thingy if y'all ever want to do that. Other than that, the only news I really have to report is that Mom isn't doing too well the last week or so. I'm onestly not sure what's going on, but I wish that these doctors could help her. If only House were a real person. *sigh* I've also started reading the Merry Gentry series by Laurell K. Hamilton and have been somewhat surprised by the immediate sexual content. I told Beth that Sara and I were teasing Grandma about liking smut (she reads those books with Fabio on the cover) and I started reading that and immediately felt like a hypocrite. HAHAHA Not badly enough to stop reading though (of course) When I discussed the subject matter with Beth (not too loudly since her sons were here), we pondered over why the men always seem to have "glistening members". Do they all have glitter on them? Or do they suddenly become wet when aroused? All this time I thought that we women had more to do with the "wet" part than the men did. I'VE BEEN MISLEAD!!! Oh well. LMAO Well, this blog is getting rather long and all that talk about glistening members is making me yearn for my book. HAHAHA Hope y'all had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to a magical New Year!!