Forget Sense and Sensibility (even though it's a cute movie). Forget Pride and Prejudice too (never seen that one). It's time now for IDIOCY AND IRONY!!! The third and final chapter in the Alliteration Series. For those of you who are O.C.D .(like me) I do realize that these came out in reverse alphabetical order, but bear with me. It WILL be okay.
In honor of the reverse order of things (and in spite of my inclination to do exactly the opposite) I will explain the reasoning for the title of Idiocy and Irony backwards as well. No, I'm not going to type backwards. I'm far too stupid and already have a headache so, therefore cannot do that, but I WILL tell you all about the "irony" part of the post first.
I recently, because I'm down and jiggy with all the new gadgetry and whatnot, purchased a set of those HERCULES HOOK thingies. I bought them specifically so I wouldn't have to search for a stud (the kind in the wall, not the hot guy kind. I'm still more than happy to search for hot guys! But I digress, as usual...) So, I marked where I wanted the dealy I'm hanging to be (which in this particular case is a metal CD rack) and made marks indicating where I needed to put the HERCULES HOOK thingies. If this language is too technical for you to understand...well, you probably need some sort of medical attention because the infamous -"they"- don't make 'em much less technical than me. Anyway, back to the irony...so I make these marks and shove a HERCULES HOOK thingy in the wall. I am pleased with my amazing mechanical skills! I can shove a big hook in the wall! Yay me! Hooray! Etc! Etc! and so forth! and so on! Time now to shove HERCULES HOOK thingy number 2 into the wall.Piece of cake, right? Of course not! Why not, you ask? Well, I'm trying to tell you! Stop interrupting me! It's because I managed to find a stud! A stud into which a HERCULES HOOK thingy will not penetrate. Great job, Katy...just brilliant! It's really quite ironical if you ask me. And yes, you did ask me (in my head). Also, "ironical" is now a word - for I hath used it and thus it is so! Yeah...so, I only have 18 of these babies left...who wants to guess at how many I will manage to try to shove into a stud? (Once again, NOT the hot guy variety - or the horsey variety, for that matter.) I'm betting on at least 6...
So, onward and upward (technically it's downward, but that doesn't sound as nifty) to the idiocy! I realized that towards the end of 2006/beginning of 2007 I mentioned my mom having a lot of health problems and the possible need for a pacemaker. As it turned out (and as usual) health profesionals are almost entirely composed of retards who want nothing more than to perform a "really cool" surgery. At least that's my personal interpretation of them. She did not need a pacemaker at all. They switched around some medications and she is still having what I refer to in my rather politically correct way as "intestinal difficulties" because it sounds so much nicer than - well, you know.......
Anyway, she's really fatigued a lot and afraid to go out much because of the "intestinal difficulties". She is supposed to go see her doctor sometime soon but wants to cancel because she knows that he'll say she's stupid and has Celiac and that she should have listened to him, blah, blah, blah. I swear to GOD I have half a mind. That's it...I just have half a mind. haha...Seriously though, I'm REALLY considering e-mailing/calling the boss man (who is a doctor's boss anyway?) and complaining. I think he works for Scott & White so he's basically ruled by public relations. Any evil ideas on how to make his life Hell?
There are so many idiotic things I've done recently, I can't even begin to remember them all. I was so tired of knotted yarn last night that I decided a couple of wee, li'l knots in the yarn I was using weren't noticeable and just knitted them right on in! I'm a rebel like that...I also discovered that, though it's significantly more whoppy jawed (again, I apologize for the uber technical language, but it really is necessary) I prefer cutting and then joining where my color changes are; rather than running the yarn up the backside of my work because the 'cutless' method has a tendency to leave small, but annoying (to me anyway) holes. Y'all were DYING to know that right? Right! Alrighty then...
UPDATE:
I figured out that if I were to move my CD rack over and inch or two, i could avoid the stud and still hang it using my HERCULES HOOK thingies! Hooray for my brain! It worked for once! Now I just have to Spackle the holes I made previously while engaging in idiotic behavior...one more thing to add to my grocery list. Even though I've put off going to the store for at least a month. I'll do it someday, I swear!
P.S. Because it wasn't included in the post NEARLY enough...........................
HERCULES HOOK thingies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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