Random Update

Okay, fuck the update...it saved all gonkywhompas and is all % singns and 20s...stupid computers...for now...they're turning off the lights in the library, so I think I'd better go...I'll try to get here earlier next time, though!

'Key Dokey! (How Did I Know: Part Deaux)

What Puppy would you be most like.
Chihuahua Puppy You Are a Chihuahua Puppy. Small, high strung, and loyal. You do best in the city with a adults - young kids could crush you!
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Never really thought of myself as 'high strung' and I'm definately not small! But I'm sure MyYearBook.com knows more about me than I do!

And the Scarf Drags on....

Okey dokey y'all...I have still been working on my sister's scarf for Christmas. I know, I'm slow - get over it. Anyway, I've noticed that the sections I knit when my mom's around are significantly uglier than the sections I knit when I'm alone or with -ummm- ANYONE else. My mother likes to interrrupt me and make me insane.

I'm feeling VERY stressed right now. Can you guess why? Okay time's up, I'll just tell you. The plan driving from Texas was to DROP ME OFF at my sister's apartment so that I could spend some time with her. Guess how much time I've spent with her in the last 3 days...go on guess!

You give up? Okay, I'll tell you that too...a grand total of 4 minutes. The rest of the time my mom is there driving one or both of us crazy...cause that's just what she does. Since we arrived on Sunday, my mother has said every single day that they'll be "leaving tomorrow" yet tomorrow never arrives. Damn tomorrow...damn it to Hell! My poor Grandma wants nothing more than to go home and my mom is making her stay here. Poor Grandma. Even Sara's sick and tired of Mom. I know it's only been 3 days, but 3 minutes of time with her is enough to make a person consider suicide. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

So yeah...the scarf is "funky" for lack of a better word. It has so many "design features" I'm just hoping she'll think it was supposed to be random and kind of weird. I thought about frogging it AGAIN but then remembered upon being here that she likes things with -uhh- character? Yeah, that sounds better than admitting it's all sorts of fuckered up every which way possible.

I finally decided to follow in the footsteps of my teachers and become polyamorus with my knitting, so I started on my cousin Haley's Christmas scarf too. Hopefully Haley's will have fewer "design features" and significantly less "character"

Aside from that the only things going on are...well, not much. My sister's at work and I'm borrowing her computer, and my mom and grandma went out to buy more stuff that Sara doesn't want or need, so I have to place to myself. Speaking of "the place" it is SO nice! I'm going to try to take some pictures to post on here so y'all can see it. I really just can't wiat until mom leaves. And writing about her is making me feel stressed again...I think I will put on some music and knit my stress away. Until next time: Take care!!!

How Did I Know?

Take the quiz:
What School Of Magic Are You?

Evocation
You are evocation, the art of manipulating energy like fire and lightning! Energetic and dynamic, you are often hyper without having to try. A little detirmination makes your enthusiasm a wonder to behold and often causes third degree burns.




I guess you just like us Evocation types Andrea! But I so totally do not cause third degree burns - I've HAD a couple, never CAUSED one though - that I'm aware of...

Zombie Apocalypse!!!

Yep...and here I always thought I'd be like the second person to die in Dawn of the Dead. Maybe I'd end up like Ed (Nick Frost's character in Shaun of the Dead). Andrea and Cassi will keep me in a shed to knit with on occasion. LMAO

Take the quiz:
What Kind of Apocalypse Are You?

Zombie Apocolypse
You are stubborn and headstrong, but your methodical and straightforward nature comes in handy when you are in the middle of a ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE. Just remember that a little flexibility and paying close attention to your assets will help you a great deal when fighting off hordes of the undead. Don't let the lumbering beasts of terror get you down, with a little determination you can get through anything.

I've Been Everywhere 2: Overstatment, much?

'Key dokey y'all...here's the revised edition of my "Where the Hell have I been?" Map. I noticed upon viewing this that I have pretty much completely and totally neglected all square/rectangular shaped states. I guess I'm a state-ist. Or maybe a shape-ist? Who knows...I'm sure it can't be good though.

I'd also like to add that one of these days I feel it will be necessary for me to reside in Bucksnort, Tennessee. Just because I want to tell people "Yeah, I live up in Bucksnort." (Yes, I'm rather easily amused...I happen to think that's a GOOD quality)

Of course, I certainly wouldn't mind visiting California again and I'm eager to visit other states too. I've got a lot of of travelling to do!!!

So, without further ado...THE MAP



create your own visited states map

Attack of the Scarf Murdering Frogs

I hate frogs. Okay that's a lie...I like frogs, but I hate evil, scarf murdering frogs.

Like this one


See? It's an evil frog! Attacking her...umm...scarfal...region? Or something.

Okay okay, so it's really just a kind of ugly color for that pattern and that particular scarf (IMHO). Why didn't the damn frogs attack it instead of mine? Mine's more cooler. Meanies!!! I don't know what these guys have against pretty scarves, but they're starting to piss me off, I must say!

As you may have guessed, I ended up frogging my scarf. Again. That's frog numero 3. *sigh*

I'm considering just making a garter stitch scarf for my sister, since I'm actually okay at that and since this pattern - while adorable - doesn't seem to be working out so great.

Or maybe I'll try that ribbing pattern again. That'd be pretty, don't you think? Seriously, I'm asking...what should I do? Any input would be appreciated.
See????



Is it just me, or does that appear to read "Fhank You"?

Narci-rosis

I am such a doofus. Why am I such a doofus, you ask? Well, I don't know WHY, I just know I am. If you'd like to know why I THINK I'm a doofus, then continue reading, for that is why I decided to write this. Well, that and the fact that I haven't written a blog in a little while and I'm currently bored out of my mind. Okay now for the doofiusness...

A couple of nights ago, I was lying in bed, asleep. At some point in the wee hours of the morning (I think it was actually around 6, but I'm not sure and besides...6 IS the wee hours of the morning, damnit!) I awoke and needed to go to the bathroom. I happened to have been sleeping on my left side, which leaves me facing the (closed) door of my bedroom closet. Since I was facing my closet, I happened to notice that the light inside had been left on. Hmmm, strange...

So of course, the first thought that enters my mind is that a serial killer/rapist has somehow gained entry to my humble abode and is lying in wait for me to get up and go to the bathroom. Obviously. Cause that's what serial killers/rapists do.

Also obvious is the fact that I didn't think this through, huh? Let's look at the faulty logic here:

1. Evidently, this serial murderer/rapist decided that it would be no fun to attack me whilst I slept and that it was necessary to wait until such a time as I awakened and moved about for his sinister attack.

2. I’m an idiot.

3. This particular murderer/rapist is either afraid of the dark, or he wanted to alert me to his presence. Why else would he feel the desperate need to leave the closet light on?

4. I'm an idiot.

5. It is clearly doubtless that this serial killer would target me above all others. I mean come on? Who could resist killing/raping me? Yes, once again my narcissistic neurosis (a.k.a. Narci-rosis) is hard at work!

So, after a few minutes of fretting, I finally decided Fuck it and opened the closet door..........HOLY SHIT!!!!!



Nothing. Well, nothing other than clothes, shoes, my water heater, etc. Big surprise there right? Who in their right mind would ever think that I had simply left the light on by accident? I mean really...who? Cause they're a friggin' idiot. The murderer scenario is WAY more interesting. Duh!

So, la de da...all is well in the land of the dumbasses. Just hunky dory in fact. Until………………

Last night. I go to bed and fall asleep quickly, only to be awakened at 6 for my (apparently scheduled) potty break. It is at this point that I notice that yet again the light in my closet is on. Coincidence? I think not! Surely some serial killer has gotten wind of my retarded late night thought patterns and is now taking advantage of said patterns.

*Note that the murderer is now psychic and probably has other astounding powers*

So, of course, as usual, he is waiting for me to get up and go to the bathroom to initiate his attack. Obviously. Cause that's what serial killers do.

What to do, what to do…I considered arming myself, but once again the problems with that are miraculously multi-fold. First of all, I’m a wimp and even if I DID take my disturbingly sharp awl with me, I lack the strength to harm my attacker. Second, I was just too lazy to go get it anyway. Third, certainly my movement would alert him to the fact that I was awake (because this specific murderer/rapist doesn’t sleep – Hello??? Super powers - and the turning on of my bedside lamp was no indication at all that I’d awakened) And last but not least I couldn’t decide if I should place the awl into the handle (I have an interchangeable set with 5 screwdriver heads, an awl, and a handle into which they can all be placed) or to just take the attachment. Decisions, decisions.

Of course it occurred to me that it was possible I’d simply left the light on again, but that certainly wasn’t probable. More likely was the lurking of a killer in my closet. Don’t ask me how he got in, I don’t know. They have ways, damnit! Anyway, I finally decided to again, just suck it up and check the fucking closet. And once again…



NOTHING!!! Who’d have thunk it? Certainly not I!

So, what in the world would make me think that there is most definitely a serial killer/rapist in my closet? I guess it could be a few things. Most likely it has something to do with my decision to watch "SAW". By myself. At like, 2 a.m. Yeah that might have something to do with it. As you can surmise that was one of my better ideas. But seriously that was what? 6 months ago? A year? I still find it creepy though. I always think of that flashback when they show you how the bad guy obtained the photographer dude. Hmm, wonder where I got this crazy serial killer-in-my-closet notion. I can’t imagine.

In other news: Justin Timberlake sucks evil froggie ass. Perhaps when Fiborg has assimilated the rest of the world, we knitters can unite to fight the threat that is JT. Perhaps we will be able to make all evil froggies spontaneously combust, therefore offing the self righteous, snot-nosed brat. Cause I'm pretty sure that the combustion of the evil frog whose ass he was sucking would cause a casualty. Don't you think?

Oh well, in any case, I am off to go knit. I will try to ward off the evil demon froggies from Hell (and with them, JT) . Wish me luck!

Kitty Cats & Progress

I am making headway on the scarf I'm making with the pretty blue/green alpaca for my sister. I only have 3 rows done, but that's headway, damnit! I ended up casting on 56 stitches, so it's nice and wide. As for the kitty cats, my aunt mailed my a couple of pictures of her adorable kitties, which I recieved today. I shall now scan said pictures with my mommy's new 4-in-1 printer thingy.

For your viewing pleasure, I present:

Miflin & Bailey


and Madolyn


One other cute kitty thingy my uncle e-mailed me was this. hehehehehe Enjoy!!!

My Pretties

I am no longer a yarn shop virgin. Now I an a yarn shop addict. Of course, as a nice woman at the store pointed out, there are worse things to be addicted to. She's probably a bigger yarnoholic than I am. hehehe

Anyway, I decided to stop being a bum and go ahead n' set up my webcam so that I could send pictures of my new lovelies across time and space to you, the unsuspecting viewer! Thoughtful of me, no?

Anyway, the following pictures were taken with my excessively crappy Logitech webcam so they suck ass, but you get the idea.


Presenting...
My Yarn Stash Box






from the top...





And now the YARN!!!

BEHOLD!All the yarny goodness I possess...





Yummy, 100% Alpaca!(presented in two beautiful colors)

Blue/Green



and Heather-y Purple





These are my older yarns...



Velour-y Blue stuff




and my crappy ass Purple Red Heart stuff. (a.k.a. practice yarn)





That's it for now. You can see my needles in there too. I only have three pairs thus far, but my collection is growing almost daily, so yeah. I also want to say that, though my Red Heart stuff is basically spun crap, I love it because one of my bestest friends gave it to me and I learned how to knit with it.

A New Experiment in Hideousness

So, I've been attempting to knit. As all my blogs on here have made evident. All my blogs on here have also made it apparent that I'm not particularly good at it.

I particularly blow at purling. So, I decided the make this scarf using only garter stitch. After two days I have resigned myself to the fact that this is most likey just going to end up as an experiment to see just exactly how BAD I can get a simple garter stitch to look. So far I'm doing an amazingly wonderful job of screwing it up. Yay me! How I manage to fuck up garter stitch is beyond me, but I guess it's just a gift. Thus far I've decided that these fuck ups will be considered (by myself) to be 'design features'. To whichever poor soul I decide to bestow this monstrosity upon I can only say...may the alpaca be with you.

And now...the picture...beware: Some may consider this graphic!

Behold! 16 of the ugliest rows of garter stitch you may ever have the misfortune of viewing!



Yeah there's only one pic. How many pictures can you scan of 16 rows of garter stitch? I guess I could've also scanned the back but I didn't. Wanna fight about it?
Anyway, notice the big, gaping HOLE in the middle...yeah, that's the best part! maybe I can stick a button on it or something. I don't know...Any ideas?

I've Been Everywhere, Man

create your own visited states map

Ouchies!

I've come to the conclusion that knitting doesn't like me very much. Either that or the evil froggies are descending upon me, and only me. Oh well, I like knitting whether it (or the froggies) like me or not! So, HA!

My hands have been rather painful today. Arthritis sucks monkey butt. I had a headache earlier, but consuming excessive amounts of chocolate seemed to rid me of that! I still can't imagine why I'm not losing weight. ROFLMAO

Anyway, methinks I shall probably forgo any more attempts at knitting tonight and wait until tomorrow to torture myself again. I'm going to try to either knit a purl swatch so I can get more used to it or else I may just knit a scarf with no pattern. No purling, nothing but knit stitches as far as the eye can see...at least on the scarf anyway.

Blarg!!!

Well, let's see...I have had quite an interesting day. (By interesting, I, of course, mean unfortunate)

First, I realized that I had screwed up my first knitting project...and I was having such fun with it too!!! I finally decided that I was going take a nap and then just continue knitting and see how it progressed.

Then, my mom felt the desperate need to annoy me. Which isn't any different from any other day, but I figured I'd throw it in there to make my day seem even more pathetic. Luckily for me, she tends to leave the house in the morning and not return home until late evening, but she still manages to make me want to scream during the interludes in which I'm forced to converse with her.

So, after awhile, and a nice nappy nap, I got back to knitting and was feeling quite loverly about things. I noticed that the pattern I was theoretically supposed to be getting was there but rather lopsided and I'd picked up several stitches along the way. I wasn't quite sure if I was meant to be picking up new stitches, but figured that I'd continue to see how it progressed while I contemplated tossing it to the evil froggies who thwart my every stitch.

So, I concluded that taking a shower to clear my head and cleanse my stinky self was the answer and that when I returned I would continue knitting and contemplating. I spent an hour in the bathroom singing and using all the hot water before I was clean and content, at which point I called my mom and asked if it would be too much trouble to bring home a drink for me since all they have in this house seems to be water and milk and I can only handle so much dairy and tasteless liquid. She assured me that it wouldn't be a problem, but knowing my mother, I offered to call and remind her - to which she angrily replied that she wasn't stupid and could remember to pick up a damn drink.

- 5 hours later -

My mom finally brings my poor Grandmother back home after a long day of galavanting and I discover (much to my despair, but not to my surprise) that *GASP* my mom FORGOT to get my drink. So, I sighed at her and got a bottle of water. Of course she took this personally and took it upon herself to first, blame her forgetting it on my grandmother; saying that she was SO tired and had insisted they get home and second to insist that she go back out to pick it up. A nice thought, but I told her that I didn't need her to do it.

-1 hour later -

After arguing the point with my mother at length (see above time frame reference) she left the house despite my Grandma's, my Dad's and my own pleas with her to stay and went to pick up the damned drink. Again, a nice thought, but unnecessary. During all this I became rather stressed and upset...an effect my mother often has on me and I ended up, during her absence (a.k.a. sweet relief for me) sending my attempt at a scarf to the frog pond since the evil bastards seemed to want it so very badly. After my mom returned (with the drink I specifically requested she NOT get) she continued to annoy for awhile longer until she finally went to bed. Thank alpaca!!!

Unfortunately, I then decided to get online and check my MySpace account because...well, I have no life and I was bored. Plus, my knitting attempts all seemed to be a bust for today. So, I fiddled around on the internet island of whores for a bit and noticed that this guy (of course, it's gotta be guy trouble) ...this guy whom I seem to inexplicably care for, who is always - literally every time he talks to me - asking me to come see him and to date him, etc. has evidently abandoned his efforts in favor of a nearer, whore-ier female. Actually, she's probably a very nice girl and he's probably going to give her chlamydia, but it's still a pisser. Especially since they've evidently been dating for awhile now and just last night he asked - nay BEGGED me to come visit him/date him/have sex with him. Bleh...I realize that it's now almost 2 a.m., and therefore technically no longer Thursday, but I still feel the need to say I hope to Hell tomorrow turns out better.

At least as far as my knitting is concerned.

The Order of the Fiborg

This is the day the alpaca hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Amen