Starting Fresh

Well, I signed up for the Discovery Health National Body Challenge, but apparently part of the challenge is getting the personalized Challenge Program that's promised. For some reason the page/program isn't loading correctly for me.

So, I decided to go perusing and see what I could find elsewhere on the site. I found some interesting (though occasionally contradictory) information there and after I'd read all I could find to read, I decided to check my e-mail. Nothing new there, but I did see some interesting weight loss motivation tools on my Yahoo! home page and spent another hour or so checking those out. (Yeah, I never got around to that whole 'sleep' thing LOL)

Anyway, long story short: I'm feeling inspired to take proactive measures. Steps towards improving my health to be specific. I don't have any grandiose ideas about exercising 2 hours a day, but I do have a few ideas that I'd like to start with and build off. Just in case you're interested, here are a few of them:

1. Cutting back/cutting out sodas and sweet tea (yes, I shall mourn their loss)
2. Cutting back/out other things high in sugar content (i.e. bread, potatos and rice) this will probably be the most difficult.
3. Changing up my beauty routine (i.e. actually bothering with one)

I'm hopeful that taking a few small(ish) steps will encourage me to make more dramatic changes in the future such as *GASP* exercising! LOL Wish me luck!

Check Out This Video/Info

I usually make a point of avoiding political topics, but I feel that with the Presidential election coming up quick, fast and in a hurry - it's my duty to research the candidates and make as informed a decision as I possibly can when it comes time to vote. So far, my favorite candidate by far has been Ron Paul and it appears that I'm not alone. If you haven't kept up with him, he did a fundraiser (I believe entirely online) on November 5th (Remember, remember, the 5th of November, etc) and raised millions and today he's doing another fundraiser in honor of the Boston Tea Party. Last I checked he had raise about $15 million!

If you're interested in learning more about Ron Paul and his ideas, click the graphic below:



If you like what you see and want to donate, click here to make a secure donation.

R.I.P.

My aunt Cathy called me this afternoon while I was out eating with my dad. The reason she called me was to tell me that my other aunt's cat, Bailey passed away today. Being the idiotic freak I am I started bawling in the restaraunt...niiiiice.

It's gonna be so weird the next time I walk into their house, not tripping over him as he weaves between my feet, meowing for attention. I honestly can't remember a time when he wasn't there. *le sigh*

I'll miss you, you adorable, fluffy little attention whore.

R.I.P.

Yay Me!!!

You know how I was complaining about not being able to find a video on how to do corrugated ribbing FLAT? Well, I thought about it and it occured to me that if, when knitting in the round you had to keep the strands in the back, it went to reason that when knitting flat you'd keep the strands in BACK on the knit side and then keep them in FRONT while purling and guess what...

IT WORKED!!! Holy mackerel, I was RIGHT!!! So, I sorta kinda (with the help of a knitting video and some forum answers on KnittingHelp.com) taught myself corrugated ribbing! Hooray! My common sense actually worked for once...sweetness!

*Is excessively, annyoingly proud of herself - in case you couldn't tell*

Just thought you might be interested in knowing that. Love y'all!

Where Do I Sign?!?!?!

Is it just me or should she maybe change the name of this place to "HEAVEN"???

Progress!! New Stuffs!! Hooray!!

Okay well, since it's been roughly forever since I've actually blogged about knitting (the primary intended purpose of this thing anyway) I thought - just for shits and giggles - I'd give it a shot today (tonight, this morning, whatever)

First of all, I am DONE knitting on my first complete project!!! It's the modified Irish Hiking Scarf that I made for Sara and all that's left to do now is wash, block and add the fringe. I was going to avoid posting it on here since Sara also has the address for this, but I'm considering giving it to her now and making/getting her something else for Giftmas. Anyway, as you well know, it started off a bit shakily, but thanks to Cassi's brilliant advice (using the Yahoo Doodle IMVironment LMAO) I discovered a new, prettier, and more effective way to join yarn! Thanks Cassi!! So, instead of a whole bunch of messy, ugly color changes, Sara will be receiving a scarf with smooth joins instead. Hoorayness! Here's the *almost* finished result. (*Click on the pictures for larger, more detailed views*)

I also started a cool hat (the same pattern I was looking at making for my aunt) and decided to make one for myself in this really gorgeous color of the same yarn I did Sara's scarf in. This is what I have so far...The color isn't showing up EXACTLY right on my monitor...it's actually a more turquoise-y blue green color than just a pretty green. Right now it looks as though I'm starting another scarf, but it's actually the matching hat. It will *hopefully* end up looking like this:

Except WAY prettier cause my color is so much more awesome. Cool hat though, right? I'm planning to make one for my aunt too, but I'm going to use some Lion Brand Thick and Quick so I probably have to modify the pattern a bit to account for the yarn's massivosity. (Isn't making up words fun?!)

I believe that's all for now...I would've just put all this on Ravelry, but my Ravelry>Flickr coordination seems to be not so coordinated. Hopefully I can get them posted up there soon though! I'm just ecstatic that I finally got my invitation!!! SQUEEEEEE

Cause I'm a CopyKat

Haha, get it? CopyKat? Cause my name's Katy and stuff...

I got a lower grade than you Cassi - I think because I indicated that I wasn't in love so that lowered my Love score. Love is always ruining my life(grade)! WTF?

Yes, I'm kidding, don't worry... Also, don't ask me why there's a massive space between my text and the quiz results. I don't know. I have tried deleting the empty lines....it's not working. I guess we'll just have to deal with it. Sorry!

YOUR REPORT CARD:
Category	Grade
Love	A
Friends and Family	A
Body	D
Mind	A+
Finance / Career	B
Your Life's Average Grade: B
'What is your Life Grade?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Loopy!

Hey all (all two of you LOL)

First of all, I want to say "THANKS CASSI!" for showing/telling me about that color change method. It looks a hell of a lot better!!! I'm finding it to be a bigger pain in the ass (and fingers) than the other method I was using but I think it's just because I'm not used to it. I'm have a bit of trouble gauging exactly how much yarn i need to double over for the correct size loop so I've had to undo and redo it a few times, but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually. Any tips would be higly appreciated all the same though! teeheehee

Update:
I did indeed figure out the whole loop thing, YAY! Just took a little practice as do most things. hehehe

Hooray for Pretty Musics!

I decided that we needed purdy music on my blog for to entertain us whilst we read or whatever. So naturally, I chose the Harry Potter soundtrack widget...duh! Hopefully it'll like work and stuff. hehehe I think it will make every post that I umm post...more enjoyable, don't you?! And OMG how much fun would it have been to be on the Harry Potter Orchestra...I mean SERIOUSLY!

Words of Wisdom from Gail

So, my friend and fellow Lupie, Gail has posted a series of funny - though rather sad - bulletins on MySpace in the past couple of days. I thought I'd share them...

These are some things that she (and I, for that matter) are quite certain of:

I didn't develop Lupus because I drank store brand milk
Walking around the block at 2pm in the afternoon isn't "all I need."
A job would not set me free from my "prison," (though it just might set me free so to speak, permanently....)
I didn't develop Lupus from drinking Diet soda

Receiving disability insurance checks is not "being lucky," it is my right. I paid into the plan..."just in case"...and "just in case" ended up happening, and now I collect.
Furthermore, getting disability insurance payments is not "financial aid," I could win the Mega Bucks tomorrow, and they would still send me disability payments each month (Just like rich bitches who crash their Mercedes still collect insurance payments from the car insurance company).

It is NOT all in my head.......it is also in my heart, lungs, kidneys, skin, blood…

In the Eastern world, Lupus DOES exist. (as is evidenced by this rather large Lupus walk in China...)

Everyone loves a good conspiracy theory....but there is often no actual conspiracy…

Happy isn't that same thing as healthy(People seem to think if I am smiling or laughing that must mean I'm well, Hallejuiah, she's healed!So some people don't keep getting confused, I will start acting miserable... God Bless the feeble-minded)

People, pick better colleges to get your degrees from. They are robbing you!

Is This Normal?

So, recently I've been hearing about things. Deaths to be particular...a girl with whom I graduated was killed in a car accident, not to mention the news I got of some other, much younger people being killed in an auto accident as well. On top of all that, a girl who suffered from Lupus passed away recently too. It's all got me feeling very distressed, melancholy, confused, worried, vulnerable -weird.

I'm not sure if this is just something that starts to occur when you reach a certain age or if it happens to be an unfortunate rash of events. I'm suddenly very aware of my own mortality and that of everyone around me. My friends and family are perpetually on my mind and I find that I'm much more worried about their health and safety. Maybe I'm just behind and I should've been thinking about those things long before now or maybe it's just something that hits you right around the age of 25 - I don't know.

As I mentioned, I've been considering my own mortality more. I know that my parents were told when I was initially diagnosed with Lupus that I could, with treatment, survive to the ripe old age of 30-ish. It's amazing how close 30 seems all of a sudden...The funny thing is that it's not so much fear that I feel, it's panic. I'm worried about accomplishing the things that are important to me and I'm not sure exactly what is REALLY important to me. Obviously being the best friend and daughter/sister/niece/cousin - family member in general that I can be is high on the list, and that is something I do find to be incredibly difficult on occasion. I've always been a bit ornery and I think that had a lot to do with my feeling of having an indefinate period of time in which to amend any broken relationships and resolve any conflicts that may arise. I guess I'm beginning to realize that that will not always be the case and I just never know when the time will come when I can no longer restore broken ties.

I've also been considering exactly what it is I want to have done at the end of all this. I do know that it certainly doesn't involve staying in my apartment and arguing with my mother over whether the flowers she put in my living room are "too much". So, I've (for the most part) given up on trying to get my mom to stop buying me stuff. It seems to make her happy and I've come to the conclusion that that's a good thing. (Besides, a lot of the things she buys me are nice and I really do like them! LOL)

I'm still not sure of EXACTLY what I want to achieve but I do know that I've decided that I want to affect everyone I meet from this day forward POSITIVELY. I have come to the conclusion that if I can affect just a single person enough to make a real difference in this world, then my purpose will have been served. Of course I have no way of knowing for sure exactly who I've affected and what particular effect I've had on them, so I have to continue to try to have a good effect on as many people as possible. I think I ought to win some sort of prize for the most usage of the words "affect" and "effect" in a paragraph for that last one.

Okey dokey, I just had to get those thoughts out of my head and onto the internet...you know so that they could travel through time, space and wires and be implanted into your head (thoughtful of me, no?) There'll most likely be more incredible insight (haha) to come as I try to figure out what it is, exactly that I want to do and how I can have a positive effect on those around me, but for now, I'm tired and I should probably get some rest.

For the record, I love y'all (the grand total of 3 people who ever read this blog) and I cherish every millisecond of time I have with each of you. Yes, I'm getting creepily nostalgic. That's what you get for being such amazing friends/sisters! hehehe

Oh...My...God...Someone Shoot Me! {UPDATED}

Okay, as you may well know, I have been having migraines on and off (mostly on, but who's paying attention) for the last couple of weeks.

As you also may know, I severely dislike Tom. So naturally, since I don't like him - since I was perfectly happy never to speak to him EVER again - naturally, he e-mails me. To "apologize" Yeah...right... In his usual, emo way he insists that he's grown up and realizes he "may" have treated me unfairly in the past. HA! Whatthefuckever. Oh, and not only does he have the gall to e-mail me out of nowhere after 2 years, but he also has the gumption to do it condescendingly. When I told him this, he was even MORE condescending, saying that he guessed it might sound that way if one were looking for ulterior motives. HA! When was ANYTHING uttered from that asshole's mouth anything OTHER than an ulterior motive? Seriously?? From telling me about drunken parties that he left because some girl was "eyeing" him to referring to me as a "really good companion" and then again as a "good girl". First of all: he most likely had a booger or a shitstain, secondly: I am not, nor have I ever been, a dog of any variety though he may have treated me as such while we were "dating" (i.e. "while I drove 45 minutes to see him and he just played video games, jacked off and treated me like his own personal concubine)

So, yeah I hate everything right now. Most especially men.

In addition to this joyous turn of events, apparently there's something wrong with the pool here AGAIN. I don't have the slightest clue WHAT, but it's a putrid green/brown color and they've been doing something - (draining it I suspect) that sounds as if there's a jackhammer nearby -since 8 this morning. Really great for my headache.

*~*UPDATE*~*

Well, first of all, they finally stopped jackhammering the pool! Yayness! I think I might go lie back down simply because I can actually rest now...but first:

Tom e-mailed me again on MySpace. I also replied. I feel a little better now, I guess...I also feel like I'm slamming a door that I'm not positive I want to close in the first place. I keep going back and forth about whether I should try to be "friends" with him or not. I think I just really need to get/keep him off my mind. (Obviously, I'm in a 'NOT' mood right now! LOL)Anyway, I thought y'all might be interested to see what I finally wrote so here it is (I'm trying to find out how my friend does her screen shots but until I do, I'll just copy and paste stuff) So, here's the most recent e-mail from him:

No Subject
Body:
It came off condescending? O.k. it was an apology--maybe it seems that way if you're searching for ulterior motives.

I grew up, Katy. I matured greatly in the last year and realized I wasn't too nice to you at times. I wanted to apologize because you are a good girl and I don't want you to carry such hurt.

Grandma's been gone for a long while now. Her mind isn't all there anymore so she lives with my parents. I've been living alone.

AND my reply:

RE: No Subject
Body:
You've never been good with apologies. At least never in the time I've known you. And pretty much everything you do and say comes across as condescending. I guess it's just one of the hazards of thinking that you're better than everyone else. I wasn't looking for ulterior motives, you presented them openly and even if I had been seeking them out, can you blame me? I do find it hard to believe that you didn't realize referring to me as a "pretty good companion" and then again in this e-mail as a "good girl" would be seen as condescending since I 'm not a pet. You're not a stupid guy, Tom. Though you do constantly prove otherwise in regards to other people's feelings. I suppose it's possible that you still just don't understand women and that is, quite frankly, just sad.

You claim that you've "grown up" over the last year, but it seems to me that you're still exactly the same. You still think that you're better/smarter than everyone else and you still care much more about your own emotions than those of anyone else. In addition, I'm sorry to have to break it to you, but you give yourself too much credit. There was a time when I was saddened that our "relationship" failed but I got over that years ago when I realized that I don't deserve to be treated like a dog and I DO deserve so much better than you. In short I've moved on. I moved on a long time ago. The only reason I can figure that you would bother me again is to clear your own conscience. I hope that you consider it cleared because I have no desire to correspond with you again. The only reason I initially wrote back to you was to warn you that my friends are viciously protective and they hate you. I, personally, don't hate you, Tom. I certainly don't wish you ill. Like I said before, I have no desire to correspond with you any further so please stop e-mailing me unless you desperately need my help with something. I apologize if this e-mail seems "cold and impersonal" but to be perfectly honest, that's just the way I feel towards you at this point in time. Take care, Tom and have a nice life.

~Katy~

So, that's all she wrote...for now. "She" being me, I suppose. We'll see if he writes back. I'm guessing not since I asked him not to, but God knows he HAS to get the last word in so...we'll see. I did have a whole schpiel in there about how I really just couldn't care less, but then I realized that A. that would just be outright mean to say (and I'm not an outright mean person. I'm more of a subtly mean person. LOL) and B. If I heard that he'd died a horrible, painful death I would probably feel badly for him and for his family so it would've been not only mean, but kind of a lie. Anyway, I cut it from the final letter as you can see. What do y'all think? I think it gets my point across without being vicious and that's very "me" of me. Don't you agree?

I finally took some more pics of my scarf progress. It's only taken like a month and a half, but I'm truckin' along! I got behind when I was waiting for more yarn to come in, but I'm thoroughly obsessed once again, YAY! Anyway...here are those pics I was talking about.

This is kind of squished so I decided to take another (or a couple more) with Doc posing as my beautiful assistant. Poor Doc...

Cool right?! I'm all excited...hehehehehehe Only 45 days to go!!! Yeah right, like i'm really gonna wear a scarf to a movie premier in TEXAS in JULY...whatever...it's the principle of the matter damnit!

New Stuffs!!!

I got my new checks today. Actually, I probably got them a couple of days ago but I didn't get 'em out of my box till today. Poor mailman...Anyway, I am so easily amused/bored I scanned them so y'all could see!!!

I also got my new book! Whee!!! I scanned that too. Because I have nothing better to do and I'm refusing to lie back down until at LEAST 9 o'clock. Which also explains the Mt Dew I have mainlining to my mouth... It was written by a friend and I really like his writing AND it's autographed. You know, because everyone loves me. Especially when I pay $24.95 for their book...hehehehehe...I tried to scan the back of the book too, but the words were illegible so I just decided to forget it. I already started reading it, but then set it down to chat online (with the author LOL) Anyway, the moral of the story (mine, not the book's) is that it's really good thus far. If you're interested, it can be purchased here. Also, Phil's Place is a really good short story in my humble opinion. I even wrote a review for him on Amazon. I think y'all might like it - the story, that is (especially you, Andrea). I'm eagerly awaiting the sequels Joe has promised...*this it me, eagerly waiting*

I may have gotten something else too. *blush* (No Andrea, it's not a vibrator!! LOL) I'm just being blushy cause it's this...

It's for a good cause okay?! I'm helping with Evan's surgery!!! By the way, the prices there (at SuperCrafty) are amazingly reasonable and they have some GORGEOUS hand dyed stuff, not to mention lots of Misti Alpaca *drools* I'm not sure why the labels are different since these are both worsted weight and everything. I'm guessing it either has to do with the colors or the time they came out. In any case they're both incredibly soft and wondermous. If you're going to buy yarn online check there first, please!!!

Oh, I'm still waiting on my new shirts. I was really hoping they'd be here today. Maybe I'll get REALLY lucky and they'll show up tomorrow before I leave.

Just Thought I'd Share

This is the second time I've started this dishcloth thingy for my sister. I got a lot further this time, so I decided I ought to take a picture to memorialize it before I frog it. So there ya go! That's the - uhhh - peninsula? Well, it's the ass of Texas. Whatever. I thought it was turning out pretty well right up until I totally fucked up. (I can't multitask, evidently) Anyway, what do y'all think???

Weirdity?

I'm weird. I refuse to put a link to my Blogger blog on MySpace. I'd much rather just copy any and all blogs that I write there on here (and occasionally copy blogs from here over there) than let people on MySpace (specifically, my parents) know that I HAVE a blogger blog. Blogity blog blog blog!

Yeah, I guess this is my secret "write-about-things-mommy-&-daddy-can't-know of" blog. Maybe I'm not THAT weird afterall...okay, I am but not because of this!

Profound Stupidity

Repost from my MySpace page:

One of my good friends Gail, posted a blog early this morning about well meaning people making dopey comments regarding whether or not she was praying "right".

The REALLY funny thing here (you'll see why in a minute) is that I'm not overtly religious. I would, personally, never DREAM of telling someone how they should or shouldn't pray. Heck, I'm no expert. I don't even go to church. I just do it (pray that is) my own way because it makes me feel better to think that I'm checking in with a higher power on a regular basis. If that's not your bag, fine by me. Everyone has different beliefs. In any case, this particular blog got under my skin just a wee bit (if you couldn't tell)

It's the kind of thing that really brings out my sarcastic side (like that's ever really put away! ) You know, when you're talking to that person, you just smile and say that you're doing the best you can when really you want to say "No, I'm praying incorrectly. In fact, I'm doing it on purpose because I ENJOY being sick. I LIKE always feeling like I'm letting someone down when I have to cancel plans or turn down invitations. And asking for help from my poor parents who I've already practically bancrupted? I LIVE for that! I also LOVE the hateful looks I get from people when I park in a handicapped parking spot because I honestly dont have the energy to walk 3 miles to get to Wal*Mart. Oh! And the 'pity' from people who have no idea what I feel like or what I'm going through. So, no. No, I'm not praying 'right' and I don't intend to start! But thank you for asking."

I'm not bitter, I swear! Anyway, here was my response to her blog:

Yeah, over the years several people have asked me if I've "received God" or if I'm praying enough/correctly. I'm always like "Is there another way to do it? I'll try it if there is!"
I was having a really bad day yesterday...I mean REALLY bad. I describe days like these to my friends as "God, why do you hate me?" days. Because there are really and truly days when I just feel like I must've unknowingly done something horrifying and God is incredibly mad at me. Then I remembered praying the night before last and saying "I love you no matter what". So, I prayed again and said the same thing and "but I'd REALLY love it if this would stop!" and within a couple of hours I was feeling better. A lot of times I think that the trials and tribulations that go along with Lupus are His way of teaching me things and bettering me. I get a lot of self-reflection done - especially on days when I'm not feeling well.
Anyway, obviously there is no "right" or "wrong" way to pray (in my humble opinion.) Hopefully the well-meaning people of the world will one day understand that YES! We have, in fact, tried every thing we can possibly think of and then some. There is evidently a bigger plan at work here. To think otherwise would just leave us hopeless. Keep your chin up girly! One of these days, everything will be alright. Okay, I'm done preaching - for now...

One of Those Days (VERY long and whiny)

Yeah it's one of those days...you know THOSE days. The ones where you feel the urge to scream "GOD, why do you HATE me so?!" at the top of your lungs. And usually you're overreacting, but ohhh at the time - it feels EXACTLY like God just hates you for no good reason.

Yes, my dear friends, today is just one of those days. Today, I awakened from a dream just as a large cat of some sort was about to take a big bite out of my arm. I have no idea what that means dream-wise. All I know is that in the dream I was having a wonderful time, loving on all sorts of various, cute little animals. I think that I could communicate with them in a sense, but I'm not sure anymore. The only really vivid part I remember is an adorable kitty holding out it's paw to me, as if to say "Hi, let's be friends!" and me tenatively reaching out to touch the kitty when WHAM! The cat grabs my wrist and bares it's teeth. I tried to pull my arm away, but the cat was too strong. It was at this point that I opened one eye. I seemed to be aware that if i would just open my eyes the cat would have to let go and not devour me. I'd also like to point out that all the "various, cute little animals" I previously encountered in this dream suddenly became either ravenous, drooling predators or little bitches who were only concerned with saving themselves. Basically a dream full of politicians.

Anyway, so I opened one eye and eventually the other and realized whew! I was dreaming... or nightmar...ing? Whatever, it was over and the REAL reason I couldn't move my arm was because it was pinned beneath my big, fat torso. Definately preferable to a hungry, predatory, large cat. So, I rolled over long enough for my arm to come back to life (don't you just love that tingling feeling when one of your appendages falls asleep? GAH!) at which point, I promptly fell back asleep and proceeded to have a big, long dream about Pam, Brynna and parking meters. I don't remember the details of this one nearly as well, but it also wasn't as frightening (amazingly enough)

So, now is the point at which I actually got my fat ass out of bed. This part of my day was actually pretty darn good for the most part. At least I wasn't sitting around thinking that God must hate me. Pretty much the first thing that happened was my dad called to see if I wanted any food from McAlister's. He mentioned that they had been watching movies today and I know that he doesn't really like to stay cooped up in the house watching movies on TV (he hates the commercials with a passion) so I asked if he wanted to meet there. He said sure but mom didn't want to go cause she ran out of that new med she was taking and wasn't feeling well. So, dad and I finally decided that we'd meet and eat at the restaraunt and then he would take her something home. Brilliant plan!!! Yay!!! 30 minutes later Daddy and I are at the restaraunt waiting for our food and chit chatting with one of the servers there when she tells us that she lost the baby she had been pregnant with. Before I went to Ohio, I knew that she had gone on maternity leave to have the baby, but I didn't know that he hadn't made it. She joked and said it was okay cause it was just another boy (she already has 3 boys and wanted a girl) but she was obviously devastated. I'm not sure if he was born and then didn't make it or if she miscarried but either way it's horrifying. We talked about how she had tried a couple of different anti depressants before she found one that helped her. Poor thing! I realize that her losing a baby isn't nearly as traumatizing to me as it is to her, but it's still a serious bummer to say the least. *UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY ALERT*

So, after lunch/dinner/whatever the hell it was, I went to Bed Bath & Beyond because
1. It's right there
2. I needed to get mom a mother's day card (yes I'm a bad, procrastinating daughter) and
3. I didn't want to even THINK about trying to go to Wal*Mart at 6 pm. Especially on a Sunday.

So, off to BB&B I go! I waddled around for a bit just enjoying the smell. For some reason, I just LOVE the way Bed Bath & Beyond always smells. I found a couple of things I just couldn't possibly live without and a funny card that I'm passing off as a mother's day card for mommy. Then I felt the need to check out those over the door pantry shelves they sell. You know what I mean right? Anyway, they were on an endcap, but I walked directly past them and was searching in the kitchen gadgetry area when I heard a happy couple debating whether or not they needed flatware drawer organizers or some such thing (I know I heard "flatware") and thinking that they were vomitously cute. I smiled to myself and inwardly wished them well, and then continued on my over-the-door-pantry-shelf-thingy-search. Not long after, I located them (the shelves, not the couple) pretty much right where I had originally been standing (D'OH!) and decided that they were too expensive for the moment. So, I headed for the checkout and lo and behold! The happy couple (actually, one of 3 happy couples that I noticed while in the store. This happened to be the "flatware" couple) were directly in front of me. The happy "flatware" couple consisted of a short, at least partially Asian young lady and a tall white dude. Naturally, because I am lonely and miserable, the happy flatware dude leaned down (at least 2 feet) to kiss his happy flatware lady. *sigh* I thought to myself. Well, I'm certainly glad they're happy. (What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I in such a non-hateful mood? Have I been probed by happy aliens? Happy flatware aliens?! EEEKKK!!!)

Naturally NOW another cashier FINALLY shows up and offers to "take care" of me at the next register. So, I check out, shell out and leave. I get into my car and go on home...Hooray! Home! Being the dweebazoid I am, I immediately sign onto yahoo hoping to talk to Andrea or anyone really. Poopy! Andrea is not online! Ahh well, I shall check my e-mail, RobinHoodFund, MySpace, etc. La de da!

I eventually log onto MySpace. For some deranged reason I feel the need to look at someone's page. Someone who is a dumbass and lives in Terrell. Someone who got his hair cut and actually looks kind of hot *smacks self* - I mean "looks kind of okay". So, I start to feel stupid and ugly and dumb and redundant. Oh, and fat. Luckily enough, I'm chatting with Heather at this point and she reminds me that he's a stupid playa-wanna-be and I should continue to forget him. Okey dokey, I can do that...

Okay, now I'm feeling hungry again. What? I haven't eaten in 4 hours! So I go to find something or other in the kitchen. Mmmm brownies...I promise I'll only have 2! Okay, maybe 3...but that's it! Besides, they're not that big and I'm hungry! Stop judging me!!! So, I go get some brownies. Yay!!! Of course before I can enjoy said brownies I need to use the tinkletorium. Conveniently, when I hit the switch in the bathroom the light pops. Eh, crap...I'll replace it later I think. I also think that now would be a WONDERFUL time to take off my bra. Now, I have to explain something to you...the bra that I'm wearing on this particular day is a "convertible" bra so, you know, the straps come undone at the back to make it a criss cross back or just regular. Well, as I'm trying to take the fucker off, the little hook that comes undone for "converting" purposes catches in the skin at the back of my arm. Here is the thought process which followed:

OUCHIE MUCH?! YES OUCHIE VERY VERY MUCH! Eeeek! Get it out, get it out!!!! *pulling* ACK! Okay, pulling bad...unhooking? OUCH! Maybe not. I'm gonna have to call mom to come get this stupid bra hook out of my arm. WTF? I need a mirror *starting to get weepy and walking to the bathroom mirror* FUCK I CAN'T SEE THE FUCKING MIRROR!!! CRAP I need to replace the light bulb! *walking to the hall closet* 75 watts? Is that right? Well, that's all I have. I hope that's right...*back to the bathroom* How does this fucking fixture work?! *figures out fixture - replaces bulb* LET THERE BE LIGHT! Ow. *turns on light switch* Okay now what the hell is going on in my arm? *finally removes hook* FUCK! THAT HURT!!!! Shit, I guess I oughtta put disinfectant on the damn thing...crap. *gets out disinfect-y type stuff* Boy this is really a pain in the ass to get at...OW! DISINFECTANT IS MEAN!! *crying - nay - sobbing openly now* I wonder if I should put a Band-Aid on this thing? Yeah, probably. Damn. DAMN FUCK DAMN FUCK DAMN!!!!!!!!! *Band-Aid putting on-age (which just so happens to be a HUGE pain in the ass and also rather painful because of where this little hole that has been created is)* God, why do you hate me? *sniffle sob* Is it because of the "Let there be light" bit? I won't do it anymore, I swear!

So yeah..now my arm has a little hole in it. In the wing flap area right up by my armpit. So I can't put on deodorant very easily, I can't shave very easily and it hurts quite a lot. *joy* I have this horrible fear that the newly acquired hole in my arm will become infected or something equally yucky and it's freaking me te fuck out. I'm also all sad and sniffly because God hates me. *pout*

Okay, I guess He doesn't actually hate me, but it sure felt like it! Maybe I should start waking up early enough so that I can take my meds in the morning again...

*~*UPDATE*~*

Oh, thank GOD Andrea's online *sniffle* She'll make me feel better - yay!

SHOES!!!

Me? Have no life? What on EARTH would give you THAT idea...

What Does it All Mean??

I keep composing blogs in my head. I'll be in bed about to go to sleep and think of something that is obviously an inevitably brilliant (hahaha yeah, right)

I oughtta write a blog about that sometime... I think to myself.

I consider exactly what I want to write - the wording - everything. Then I go to sleep. I'm productive like that. Plus I know that if I get back online I'll never sleep.
In fact, this is a blog that I composed in my head just prior to going to sleep last night (technically this morning, but who cares?) It occured to me that it was rather strange that I continually compose blogs without actually composing them and I had the infamous I oughtta write a blog about that sometime... thought. And yes, it is on Blooger and therefore, is officially "infamous" now.

Maybe it's theraputic. Maybe thinking of what I want to write about really helps me fall asleep. I don't know. Doesn't make too much sense since I'm usually too lazy to actually sit down and type my thoughts out. I do fall asleep quickly most of the time. I think that that probably has a lot more to do with Lupus and staying up until 3 a.m. though.

*~*That's as far as I got in my head...the following is an entirely new, random, insane thought process*~*

I've been having a lot of "Bad Flare Days" lately. I think that the rain is to blame. It's effect on the barometric pressure screws with my joints and stuff. So, I've been holed up in my apartment a little more than usual lately. Luckily, my bestest friend is spiffy and comes to visit me when she's in town I love my friends!

I keep weird hours too. Normally, I awaken at about noon. then I go to bed at 3 a.m. I guess I should start attempting to keep "regular" hours, but I'm kind of nocturnal. Also, I'm a wee bit of a hermit. I like people and everything...I just prefer not to have to go out into the world and DEAL with them on a daily basis. Chatting with my friends for hours on end is my (granted, very strange) idea of a social life.

Come to think of it, I really need to start getting up and going over to the fitness room here at my apartment complex. I've lived here what - 3 years? - and have yet to go inside that room. God forbid I do something intelligent like...exercise *GASP* I do enjoy yoga but haven't done it at all since I returned from Ohio almost 2 months ago. I have been trying to eat more healthfully though. Hopefully that'll improve my Lupus flare days/pain situation and perhaps even lessen my hermitry-type tendencies. Woohoo!

I do like to go out and meet people. Usually on weekends. Mostly down in Austin because I have a few friends who live there. It's a nice city, in my opinion and it's great for satisfying my insane yarn cravings. Plus they closed the Taco Cabana here and I like to stalk the locations there whenever possible.

The only problem with enjoying a trip to Austin fairly regularly is the EVIL, CRAZY HIGH price of gas! It's really just insane. And for some reason, I was under the impression that prices might be a little better in Texas - what with all the oil rigs and stuff - but apparently not. Phooey. Expensive gas costs me yarn money, darnit! Oh and rent and bill money, but that's not nearly as important...